Maxie is the parent of two sons and two daughters, who each in turn have two sons and two daughters-or is it two daughters and two sons? Before her first pot of coffee, Maxie really can't say! By afternoon, after several pots, Maxie can give you the total family count and also supply the square root of six-digit figures without a calculator, (which is fortunate, because by then her hands usually shake too much to USE a calculator.)

Maxie has another remarkable talent, undiscovered until her oldest son started T-ball. On his first hit, Junior ran to first base and was waved on to second and third. The third base coach yelled, "Go home! Go home!"-whereupon a confused Junior burst into tears and ran home, to hide under his bed and wonder what he'd done wrong. Maxie realized right then she'd have to learn more about sports than she ever cared to know, to help her children through the trials of growing up. So she learned all the rules of every game her children were likely to encounter. At any moment Maxie might appear in referee garb: Spin the bottle parties-"Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT a contact sport!"; At church-"Alright you sinners, outta there!"; in her favorite bookstore-" Just because Abbie Hoffman wrote Steal This Book does NOT mean you should steal this book! Illegal play!" It was due to this last incident that Reba the manager hired her on the spot.